Remind me to forget who I am

The fog has (mostly) lifted. The brain fog that is. I feel a lot better now.

I’m working as a ranger in a national park in the north of Iceland this summer, and I just spent five nights taking care of a campsite in the highlands.

No internet, hardly any mobile coverage at all for that matter.

Just me, some books, a few tired hikers and my thoughts. Not to mention spectacular nature.

I’ve been thinking of getting rid of my smart phone and getting a more basic mobile. Old school with buttons and all.

I feel like I’ve gotten stuck in the web, with the cloud constantly calling for my attention.

That’s a problem, because my attention is incredibly valuable to me, and more often than not whatever’s waiting for me online isn’t very important.

Getting some time off, detoxing if you will, from constant stimulation is essential to seeing the problem for what it is.

It’s like this: a fish doesn’t know it’s in water until it somehow strands on dry land. And then it will probably die, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make.

When I’m saturated in all kinds of online stimulation, watching videos, reading articles, receiving messages, day in day out every day, I start to forget that there’s more to life. And then I start getting anxious.

It’s weird how we forget things that seem so unforgettable. Like in the past when I’ve experienced glimpses of true reality, enlightenment or awakening, and I think “wow, my life is forever changed!”, it’s only partly true.

It’s true in the sense that having experienced that, I’ll probably make some changes, re-adjust my priorities and so on, but then at some point I’ll forget why I made those changes in the first place.

Then later on I’ll remember again or experience something even more profound. It’s a sort of cycle of forgetting and remembering.

Instead of fighting this, I’ve been working on acceptance. Accepting that this cycle may just be exactly what’s needed for realization, actualization. Life is expansion and contraction, up and down, inside and out. That’s what everything does, and maybe it’s not a problem at all.

Contraction allows expansion, so let it be.

Much love.

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