The day before yesterday a friend of mine came over to visit. He‘s been living in Denmark the last year or so, and I don‘t meet him all that often so it was cool to see him again.
We had planned to take a massive psychedelic trip together and so I grabbed my jar of dried liberty caps (Psilocybe Semilanceata) that I meticulously picked last fall and we brewed a tea with about 80 caps.
We discussed the parameters of the trip, and laid down some ground rules. Last time I tripped with this particular friend a schoolmate of his called him mid-trip and wanted to discuss some project they were working on and was so obtuse to the fact that we had taken psychedelics that he stayed on the phone for half an hour.
I decided then to never let anything like that happen again, since atmosphere and setting are easily the most important factor when doing shrooms.
I‘ve taken mushrooms maybe six times by now, and four of those trips I took on my own, mostly in meditative silent darkness á la Terence McKenna. My friend was interested in trying this approach as he had mostly done mushrooms in a more casual social setting. So, after drinking this wondrous tea of visions we made for my bedroom, where I pulled the drapes, turned off the lights and closed the windows. I sat down on the floor by my meditation altar and he sat on the bed. We kind of talked on and off about what we were experiencing, and sat in silence in between.
Soon the familiar feeling of weightless tingling set in, and before long colorful geometric shapes and ribbons started dancing around me. I‘ve experienced large doses of Psilocybin a few times before so I knew what to expect, but the sheer beauty of it never fails to amaze me.
Whenever I‘m tripping with someone else I feel like we‘re a single entity, as if we‘re sharing thoughts and emotions, but that‘s definitely not the case. My friend and I kept each other informed as to our insights and thought patterns, and man they were completely different. However, the more we talked, the more we started to see what the other meant. We started to tune into each other. Literally, as in the visions surrounding me would correlate to the ideas he was expressing to me and vice versa.
As we got close to the peak of the trip we moved under the covers in bed and I just lay there in amazed wonder while epiphany upon epiphany drifted through my consciousness. After a while I sat up in a cross legged position again and started following the sensations in my body and my breath. I probably sat there for an hour (although time is notoriously relative), just contemplating and coming to terms with my existence, as a human incarnate on the earthly plane, and I felt an acceptance, a peace, that I‘ve never before experienced, even on my previous psychedelic trips. I became absolutely confident in my right to exist and flourish, and that whatever happened to me, everything would be all right. It was the most powerful psychedelic experience I‘ve ever had, and now two days later I‘ve had a chance to digest it.
I feel a certain liberation. I don‘t mean I‘m a buddha or a holy man or anything. Just that some barrier, some blockage that‘s been telling me to be something other than I am, has suddenly dissolved and given me a chance to experience life as a fully self-accepting, honest and happy human being. If only for a little while.
It‘s motivated me to take my circumstances and happiness fully into my own hands, to take responsibility for everything in my life, good and bad. I see now that it‘s the only way forward.